Top Ten #3

Every couple has an agreement. You know the one. It's the one where each person gives the other person permission to have sex with that one, unattainable, never to be met, celebrity. I have a running list of who that guy is for me, but the other day I realized that I actually have kept track of all of the people Chris would drop me for (in a heartbeat). Below is the list in no particular order.

1. Kate Winslet- Actually, I would leave Chris for her. She is so incredibly talented and beautiful. I think it all began with him when he saw Heavenly Creatures. Granted she was underage in that film, but murdering your mother makes you so beyond your years.

2. Maura Tierney- For those of you who are unfamiliar with this name, she is the perfect girl next door type from one of Chris's favorite shows- NewsRadio. Her character on the show was cute and geeky and fell in love with Dave Foley's character which I think only increased Chris's lust for her. (He's got a thing for Kids in the Hall, too. Oh, he didn't mention that?)

3. Sara Silverman- When Chris found out that she was dating Jimmy Kimmel, he nearly had a stroke. He then claimed that he lost respect for her and that she was no longer the one he would leave me for. Well, that didn't last very long because as soon as she had her own show our tivo was recording nothing but that. Apparently Jimmy is no longer in the picture, and Chris has a chance again. I'm shaking in my boots...

4. Tina Fey- This crush didn't really come to fruition until she became the newsanchor for Weekend Update on SNL. It was a bit more subtle than his past interests. He would say things like, "I don't think her face looks funny" in response to my deep interest in her facial scar. She does have one, does she not? I just wanted to know where it came from. Does anyone know? He will still deny that she has one, because her face is now so perfect to him.

5. Rachel Maddow- the other day we were watching her show after the Vice presidential debates and he started going on and on about how smart she is and how tv is really lacking this kind of credibility in journalism. Blah, blah, blah. I saw through it. He know she's gay, but he would totally get in the sack with her.

6. Salma Hayek- He's got a thing for brunettes, and the more latina, the hotter. He married a very watered down version of this, but in his eyes I am all ass and sass in spite of my very influential Irish ancestry.

7. which reminds me, J. Lo- I just asked him about this crush to see if it still has a place in his heart and he responded, "I liked Jennifer Lopez. Before she became J. Lo. I don't like that J. Lo shit."

8. Kristen Wiig- This is his latest addition. My sharp intuition led me to this when he spent 10 minutes talking about how he saw this article in a magazine about this movie she's in and the photo of her looks nothing like how she looks on tv. "I mean, she looked amazing!"

9. Johnny Depp- Depp is Chris's Winslet. Not only would he be more than happy to let me have sex with this man, he would then want a turn.

10. Sue Jones-Davies- Actually, Chris never shared this with me, but I took a guess. For those of you who don't know who she is, she was in Monty Python's The Life of Brian. That's all you need to know.