Friday, June 20, 2008

Kara and Movies

I just want to say one thing about watching movies with Kara, who seems to know me so well, but is unaware that I have, in fact, seen Boys on the Side (the movie that is).

For years before Jack was born, when we could watch a movie at a volume that was louder than the refrigerator hum, I would often bring back a movie from the video store (remember those?) that I thought we both might enjoy. Invariably, Kara would look at what I got and give me one of those condescending looks filled with pity, laughing softly to herself, letting me know she was embarrassed for me because I was too stupid to be embarrassed for myself. Every time. It did not matter what movie it was. Any genre, any director, any actor, any language. It was always just some lame choice I had made that played into some stereotype of a knucklehead male filmgoer who just loves to see things get blowned up or has a bunch of pretty gurlz running around topless. It happens to this day, but now we use Netflix so I can set myself up for that humiliation without walking all the way to Video Stop (which sadly closed a year ago).

Anyway, among the films I chose were City of God, The Triplets of Belleville, Donnie Darko, Kung Fu Hustle, Spellbound (the spelling bee documentary), Tristam and Shady, Withnail and I, Network, Citizen Kane and Filthy First-Time Nightshift Nurses IV.

That’s just the half of it, though. After defending myself for ten minutes by saying things like “But it was nominated for 12 Academy Awards,” or “Martin Scorsese says this is the best film in the history of cinema,” Kara would consent to watch the film, and totally get into it. I swear to god, without fail. Then, more times than I care to remember, she would be talking to one of our friends the next day or a few days afterward and say something like , “You know what movie we just saw that you would love? [Insert some film that I was ridiculed for having selected]! It’s so good. You should really see it. It’s a great movie.” She still does it, actually.

That is what is so annoying. Kara has excellent taste in movies, but refuses to believe that I might know how to pick a film that would be interesting to watch. Maybe it's because I watch some of the dullest things imaginable on regular TV. ("Honey, Noam Chamsky is on C-Span2's Book Talk for six straight hours! Hold all my calls!") Maybe it’s because I won’t watch anything scary, which is completely befuddling to her. By the way, she also is constantly trying to trick me into watching scary films. ('Saw II' isn’t scary. I heard it’s funny. Maybe a little suspenseful, but not scary). I really don't like being scared.

Okay, then. Having said all that, let me make a few quick notes about Kara’s post. I did see Boys on the Side and hated it. I also hated When A Man Loves A Woman (although I am convinced that at the end of that movie Andy Garcia says “You had me at hello,” yet another reason to hate Cameron Crowe. He’s a plagiarist. And he plagiarizes the worst crap out there.) I actually don’t mind Robin Williams in movies that much. Definitely not as much as I mind Robin Williams in general.

And I do love ABBA and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

5 comments:

Mrs. Redpants said...

It's possible that I was confusing Robin Williams with Billy Crystal. Another actor that America loves and that you can't stand. I thought you hadn't seen Boys on the Side- when and why on earth did you see this movie? You're hilarious.

Krissyface said...

I truly cannot imagine Kara trying to trick you by saying, 'Saw II' isn’t scary. I heard it’s funny. Maybe a little suspenseful, but not scary'. Not my Kara. No way.
And Boys on the Side was a really good movie. And I am still psyched you like ABBA.

Krissyface said...

By the way, why in HECKFIRE ain't I on your bloglist? Just your wife's?
I see how it is. Out of sight, out of mind. Nice.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Krissyface, watch the language. You're not on my bloglist exactly because of that foul mouth of yours. I'm not going to encourage my minions to read the filth that you spew forth on a daily basis (except for when you're scooting up to Beantown to get loaded and vomit on the lifesize cutout of Norm at the Cheers themepark), lest they think I condone your hate speech. So far, the only blog that meets my strict standards for pure, wholesome fun is the Wizznuts blog. If you clean up your act, I'll reconsider your blacklisting, but until that day, you're shit outta luck.

Krissyface said...

Chris, you hurt me in my soul.