Yia Yia's new blog

My mother is totally biting off me. She now has her own blog and has even named it "Astroblog". Sooo biting. But here's the thing. While we named our blog after a joke I made 8 or 9 years ago about creating a band called The Jetsons and giving the title of the first album, Astro Weeks; (Get it?! Like Van Morrison's Astral Weeks?? Yeah, hilarious.) she is actually using the term Astroblog because it is all about astrology. She thinks she is so clever. I see right through her.

So with all of this novice talk out there about mercury in retrograde, I implore you to seek professional feedback on the subject before using it as en excuse for being a douchebag. Seriously, check out her blog. She is pretty amazing.

Project Runway sucks

Project Runway: Season 6

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...but I'm not going to write about that or any of the things that bug me right now. As many of you know, Mercury is in retrograde and there was just a harvest moon, so a lot of things are extremely irritating to all of us Taureans with Cancer rising (you know who you are). However, now is not the time to list all of the things that are driving me nuts lately. I'm going to stay positive and post a picture of my kids.

I don't know where Emmett's comb-over came from in this, but he should know he's not fooling anyone.

I think the hat was a better idea.
It makes him look years younger.

This post is cheering me up already.

Okay so the boys are doing great and only one of them has sent Kara to the emergency room lately, so obviously our parenting skills are top-notch, so that's something to be happy about and not irritated by.

Also, Kara made lasagna tonight, which is the greatest food ever invented. It works as a salad, entree and dessert.

It's all going to be okay. I just have to stay positive through Halloween (which, as of two days ago, I thought was next Wednesday).

9 years and counting...

I know I said I would post more regularly, but I honestly have so little to write about. Enjoy.


Today during a playdate I was about to bite into a beautiful apple when I suddenly became very self conscious of it and asked my friend if it was alright that I ate an apple in front of him. He looked at me like I was crazy, and gave me permission to eat. (He probably looked at me like I was crazy because I usually eat like a fucking pig in front of him without even thinking about it.) I then had to explain that I am not allowed to eat apples in front of Chris. He laughed, this friend of mine, because he knows Chris and I so well and apparently has never witnessed one of Chris's freakouts about people eating loudly around him. Naturally I explained to him about this "sensitivity" so that he wouldn't think Chris and I have this weird S&M thing happening on the sly.


It is true though- the thing about me not being allowed to eat apples in front of him. He cannot stand the noises coming out of people's mouths when they are eating and when somebody takes a bite out of an apple it is like death to his ears. So now I am a little head-shy about eating apples, chips, and so on because to Chris I sound like a vacuum cleaner. Granted, I am an eater. I have no qualms about my eating and take great pride in the fact that I will eat anything. (I once dated a guy who said that I eat like a man.) But I don't eat like I have something wrong with me. I actually eat very quietly. It's Chris who has the problem and he will readily admit it when I give him the evil eye for making me feel bad for eating nachos two rooms away from him. Apparently there is a name for this condition- people who hate people who eat. Or I guess, people who have incredibly sensitive hearing to people eating. Or I guess, people who are assholes. It's called "hyperacusis". Or in my world, "bullshit".



Our 9th anniversary recently passed. It was on the 11th of September. Yeah- September 11th. And, no, it didn't happen on the actual day. We had that day for a whole two years before it became the saddest day for NYC ever. Anyway we went to see Tropic Thunder. I'm thinking we may need to try harder for our 10th.

Dirty Hippies

I really love posting. I do. And I apologize for being so lame about posting regularly. But I have a good excuse. Seriously, I do. We just started homeschooling Jack. And by proxy, I guess Emmett too.

Somebody that Chris works with asked him once- "Are you and Kara some kind of anarchists?". Not even hippies- anarchists. That's how extreme our parenting choices may seem to some people. Sure I breastfeed my children at an age where I find it cute that they can sing ABC's with my nipple in their mouth. And yes, we bring Emmett to the chiropractor for an ear infection. And circumcision? Forget about it. Chris and I take pride in the fact that Jack's penis gets an extra inch or so of hang. Our dear friend (and you know who you are) once said, "Does Jack have a lot of foreskin? You can tell from his walk that he's got a lot." (Correct me if I quoted you wrong, by the way.) I guess we parent a little differently from most parents in this country, but Anarchists? Hmmm...

So- yeah, homeschooling. We couldn't bring ourselves to send Jack to the local school. Instead I opted to be utterly exhausted at the end of every day only to find myself on the computer looking up workbooks and curriculum and looking through message boards posting the homeschool gatherings, workshops, classes, etc. But the little bugger is all the better for it, and I guess so am I. It keeps me from boozing it up and doing meth all day long. Kids- they keep you young.

Listen- my entries may be brief, disjointed, and sporadic, but I will continue to post. It's the only outlet I've got at this point. And as for my husband- what the fuck is his excuse? Nice entry about the tv shows, I just wish he would post more often. His shit is funny.

Chris and his Top Ten TV shows

I know these are mostly comedies, but other than sports and news, that's about all I watch. If you like this list, I highly recommend going here .

1. Freaks and Geeks: Hilarious before having kids, heartbreaking after.
2. The Simpsons: I used to love this show so much, and remember it as being really subversive. Now I think it's become pretty lame and useless, but I'm glad Matt Groening became so insanely successful. He seems like a great guy and the Life/Love is Hell comics are masterpieces as were the first ten or so years of this show.
3. Mr. Show: Brilliant show. Why Run, Ronnie, Run was such an unwatchable piece of shit is still beyond me.
4. News Radio: Great writing, great cast. I used to watch this religiously and to this day I give Andy Dick the benefit of the doubt whenever he gets arrested or embarrasses himself some other way.
5. Monty Python’s Flying Circus: I still think I'm cool for liking this, even though Kara and her friends seem to regard it the way they do Dungeons and Dragons.
6. 30 Rock: I've been watching this a lot lately. Some of the best TV writing I've seen.
7. Late Night with David Letterman: I lived for this show in high school and one of the greatest thrills of my life was to be on it. (Yeah, I was on it. Drew Carey was on that night too! He and Kara got into a fight.)
8. The Larry Sanders Show: I watched every episode. Loved every episode.
9. The Daily Show / The Colbert Report: I read lefty blogs a lot during the day and these shows help me come down from getting so outraged. (Coexist, y'all)
10. The Wire: We're watching this now, and it is so good that if I never see another episode, it's still in the top ten.

So there's my list, but a few years ago, Bosom Buddies would have been number one, so take it with a grain of salt.